Why does emotional intelligence matter?
How do you handle your emotions in everyday life?
I’m not talking about the big, life-altering tragedies—those deserve whatever response feels right. But in the day-to-day, when someone cuts you off in traffic, your co-worker irritates you, or your kids refuse to listen—are you emotionally mature?
Today, we’re talking about emotional intelligence—what it is and why it matters. This is just the beginning of the conversation because emotional growth and maturity take time. But let’s start simple.
Emotions shape the quality of our lives. They influence how we show up, the risks we take (or avoid), and the relationships we build (or sabotage). So, developing emotional intelligence isn’t just a self-improvement tactic—it’s a life upgrade.
There are five principles of emotional intelligence. Different experts frame them in slightly different ways, but I like to keep things simple. So here’s a straightforward breakdown.
1. Self-Awareness: Knowing Yourself
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It means recognizing and understanding your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. Self-awareness helps you assess how your emotions impact your thoughts, behaviors, and interactions.
For me, self-awareness was about breaking out of extremes. I either denied my emotions altogether or used them as weapons of mass destruction. There was no middle ground. Learning self-awareness helped me find balance. Now, instead of reacting impulsively, I pause and ask myself: What am I really feeling? Why? And how do I want to respond?
2. Self-Regulation: Managing Your Emotions
Self-regulation is the ability to manage and control emotional responses rather than letting them control you. It helps you handle stress, stay composed, and make better decisions.
For the longest time, I didn’t know stress could be managed. I thought it was just something you suffered through. I wasn’t proud of how I handled frustration—it affected my composure and my choices.
Now, I meditate. I work out. I try to journal more. And when things feel chaotic, I remind myself: I can’t control everything, but I can control how I respond.
3. Empathy: Understanding Others
Empathy is about tuning into others’ emotions, perspectives, and needs. It allows you to connect on a deeper level and build stronger relationships.
When I was younger, I didn’t think anyone cared about my feelings, so I didn’t care about anyone else’s. If someone cried, I froze. I felt their sadness, but I had no clue what to do with it.
Being married forced me to learn empathy—understanding my partner’s emotions and stepping into his shoes. It made me realize that you can’t be empathetic when you’re harboring anger at the world. Healing my own emotional wounds allowed me to show up more compassionately for others.
4. Social Skills: Navigating Relationships
Social skills help us communicate, collaborate, and handle conflict. They include active listening, verbal and non-verbal communication, and working well with others.
I used to hate group projects in school. I didn’t like depending on others for my grade. But emotional intelligence teaches you how to function in social settings—with a collaborative, communicative mindset.
Instead of dreading teamwork, I’ve learned to approach it with balance. Listening. Sharing my thoughts. Addressing conflict instead of avoiding it. Understanding that relationships thrive when people feel heard and valued.
5. Relationship Management: Creating Healthy Environments
Relationship management is the ability to build and maintain strong relationships. It’s about trust, conflict resolution, and influencing others in a positive way.
We’re all leaders in some capacity. Whether as a parent, a mentor, a friend, or a business owner—how we manage relationships impacts the environments we create.
As a mom, I saw this firsthand. One day, I walked in on my sons having a disagreement. My first instinct was to step in and mediate. But then, I saw them work it out themselves. No punches. No yelling. No dragging me or their dad into it.
That’s emotional intelligence in action. And it reminded me that teaching emotional intelligence starts with practicing it.
Final Thoughts: The Bottom Line
Emotional intelligence isn’t about suppressing emotions—it’s about understanding and managing them in ways that serve you. It’s about:
Recognizing your emotional patterns (Self-Awareness)
Responding rather than reacting (Self-Regulation)
Understanding and caring about others (Empathy)
Building meaningful connections (Social Skills)
Creating environments where people thrive (Relationship Management)
So, ask yourself: Which of these areas do I need to work on?
And then, start small. Growth doesn’t happen overnight. But awareness is the first step toward change.
Emotional intelligence isn’t just about how you feel—it’s about how you live. And that’s worth investing in.
TTYL, bye