The sneaky way that self-sabotage shows up in real life…
Self-sabotage is sneaky. It doesn’t always show up as obvious self-destruction—it often disguises itself as something “good.” Productivity, perfectionism, even overthinking can all feel like responsible behaviors. But when we peel back the layers, we see that these habits are just clever ways we hold ourselves back.
1. Overthinking: The Illusion of Productivity
I used to be proud of my ability to think through everything. I could analyze a decision from 18 different angles, create endless lists, and mentally debate myself into oblivion. Overthinking felt like productivity.
But it wasn’t.
Overthinking is sneaky self-sabotage because it makes us feel like we’re doing something when, in reality, we’re just mentally running in circles. We convince ourselves that deep contemplation is necessary, but really, we’re just delaying action.
If you’re like me and prone to getting stuck in your own head, here’s the key: Thinking is only useful if it leads to a decision. The goal of analysis should be clarity and action—not just another round of mental gymnastics.
2. Indecision: The Art of Going Nowhere
Overthinking and indecision are best friends. After spending forever weighing our options, we finally do make a decision—only to undo it moments later. And just like that, we’re back at square one.
Sound familiar?
This cycle creates the illusion of movement when, in reality, we’re standing still. It’s exhausting, it leads to burnout, and it keeps us from making real progress.
Here’s the hard truth: Not deciding is still a decision. If you don’t choose, your circumstances will choose for you. Life will move forward, with or without your input. The only way to break this cycle is to commit. Decide. And then act on it—without constantly questioning yourself.
3. Comparison: The Ultimate Confidence Killer
Comparison is the thief of joy—and also the murderer of our gifts. It’s the fastest way to turn self-sabotage into a full-blown crisis.
We scroll, we look at what others are doing, and we convince ourselves we’re behind. We see someone thriving in our industry and immediately shrink back, believing that their success means there’s less room for us.
But here’s the thing: Other people’s success has nothing to do with you.
Think about music. Beyoncé is Beyoncé, but Toni Braxton is Toni Braxton. Neither one cancels the other out. They both have unique sounds, unique audiences, and unique contributions.
Your industry, your craft, your business—whatever it is you do—needs your unique touch. The world already has them. What it doesn’t have is you.
4. Perfectionism: The Lie That Keeps You Stuck
Perfectionism feels like high standards, but it’s really just fear dressed up in fancy clothes. We don’t ship the work, post the content, or put ourselves out there because it’s not “ready.”
But let’s be honest—how many people do you admire who aren’t perfect? Think about someone thriving in their field. Their work isn’t flawless. Their journey isn’t pristine. And yet, they’re making money, creating impact, and moving forward.
So why do we hold ourselves to a different standard?
Here’s the truth: Building a business, leaning into your gifts, and creating a life you love is messy. It’s supposed to be. There will be failures, rejections, pivots, and things that flat-out don’t work. But that’s where the magic happens.
Perfectionism isn’t about being excellent—it’s about avoiding vulnerability. And if you want to grow, you have to be willing to be seen, flaws and all.
Final Thoughts: Get Over Yourself (With Love)
If you’re waiting for the perfect time, the perfect plan, or the perfect version of yourself to start…stop waiting. Perfection isn’t real. And the people who truly succeed are the ones willing to show up imperfectly.
No one is interested in perfect. We connect with people who are authentic, consistent, and human.
So ask yourself:
Are you waiting to be perfect before you start?
Are you judging yourself more harshly than you would judge someone else?
Are you letting fear disguise itself as preparation?
If so, it’s time to let it go. Decide. Act. And trust that you are enough, right now, just as you are.
And that? That’s how you stop self-sabotaging and start moving forward.